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New Coldplay album a bit too edgy for you?
James Blunt not quite pianoy enough? Never
mind; here comes Cary Brothers to save the day.
Cary Brothers. Whatta guy. First name Cary, second
name Brothers (geddit? see? like Collaterly Sisters in
The Day Today, but less funny). He's here to save the
day for any Heart FM listener who might be thinking
about branching out into Radio 2, peddling sugar-sweet
ballads so bland even Westlife wouldn't have let them
in from the rain on a cold night.
Unbelievably, there are people out there who like
this stuff. You might remember Mr Brothers from the
soundtrack to Garden State, a film that deserved
better (and had it, in the form of Nick Drake,
amongst others). But more likely, you've probably
forgotten him completely, even though the soundtrack
album won a Grammy.
And just in case you were in any doubt that this is
about as tedious an example of corporate-o-rama as you
get, he's been top of the iTunes Folk Chart as well.
Gosh! Keane and Athlete would be shaking
in their boots if they didn't have better tunes.
But hey, he's kooky, he's kewl, he hangs with the
LA movie crowd, y'know. See, he's the guy who made
Dill Scallion, that wacky, wonderful spoof music movie
that's described as "the country music Spinal Tap" by... er... everyone who hasn't noticed the existence of
A Mighty Wind, one has to assume.
So do any of the tracks on this waste of whatever
it is CDs are made of have any redeeming features? Do
any of them have biting wit or cuttingly intelligent
lyrics lurking darkly beneath their saccharine
surface? Is it all a conspiracy to subvert the
airwaves with rock so soft it would need to carry a
warning not to drive onto its verges?
You might hope so, but no. It's boring soft
rock-type ballad after boring soft-rock-type vaguely
folky thing, from beginning to end. The type of music
in fact, that you keep forgetting you're listening to,
so easy is it to be distracted by a fly, or a bit of
string you've just noticed on the carpet.
The one and only saving grace of Who You Are is
that once ends, you'll forget it completely. Small
blessing maybe, but the only one available.
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