1. The Pocket Gods - Jomball Bells
2. Dawn of the Replicants - Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time!
3. The Bobby McGee's - God Save the Queen's Speech
4. Beatnik Filmstars - Ho! Ho! Ho! A Bloody Merry Corporate Xmas
5. Candy Panic Attack - Christmas on the Dole
6. Jack Hayter - Bugger All To Do in Wagin
7. The Girl From Headquarters - Unwanted Presents
8. Jocky Venkataraman - Parcel People (Christmas Eve)
9. Thee Cat's Pajamas - I Love You Santa
10. Paul Hawkins - Getting a Divorce for Christmas
11. True Adventures - Xmas Song
12. Life With Bears - The Last Noel
13. Ghouqueu - Butterflies and Moths
14. Lucky Lucky Pigeons - Red Santa
15. Steveless & Syd Howells - It Never Usually Snows in December
16. Uke Stanza - A Little Tree
17. Zoltan Kodaly School For Girls - Stop the Cavalry
18. Captain Polaroid - Until Boxing Day
19. The Narrow Escapes - And if Christmas Never Came
20. Chalkdust - It's Cold This Christmas
21. Applicants - Come Home (for Christmas)
22. Ryan Hardy - I Saw Santa
All you need for Christmas is an atmospheric bit of electronica. Amongst
the slew of Greatest Hits records from the Greatest Bands In The World that
traditionally greet us at Christmas, we're lucky to get the occasional gem.
One that stands out in recent memory is the Low Christmas EP of 1999, which
reminded the sensitively-inclined of the potential for truly soulful yuletide
magic. Of course, beyond logical argument, the greatest Christmas record of all
time is Half Man Half Biscuit's It's Cliched to be Cynical at
Christmas - a heartfelt condemnation of the Curmudgeon Culture which this
Cherryade LP does well to follow its lead.
The pivot of A Very Cherry Christmas 2 is the Zoltan Kodaly School For
Girls version of Lewie's Stop the Cavalry, a humble bit of
instrumental play from a band of collegiate recorder terrorists billed as "the world's
first all girl post-modern recorder quartet." Pocket Gods had earlier
got it all underway with the exuberant statement "It's Christmas Eve and I'm
pissed again," their tune jangling away with abrasive glee, and now I'm
listening to Paul Hawkins, who seems pretty pissed off too, in that
festive way, about to Get A Divorce For Christmas.
Pretty insane stuff, and drowning their sorrows with them are
ex-Hefner man Jack Hayter - still availed of the magic-mystery machines
that created 2001's epic Dead Media. Jocky Vankataramen, ulogises Galloway spirit with a poignant
social conscience. Jimmy from The Bobby McGees is wondering whether Santa
can fit all the presents he wants under the tree, but his girlfriend, El,
seeks a little more affection, perhaps a kiss under the mistletoe, which maybe
she'll get when the world wakes up to the McGees' ukulele-inflected
brilliance. Meanwhile Thee Cats Pajamas just want to crank up some atmospheric
feedback with which to greet the mother-in-law.
Norwich's True Adventures lead a fringe group of melody-laden
hipsters in an assault of the senses like fine wine and pudding, in the
quintessentially pop rebellion with them the Low-like Chalkdust and Lucky
Lucky Pidgeons. Their immaculately Swedish pop song Red Santa is at the
time of writing possibly the finest thing I've ever heard, all jaunty rhythms
and cute as hell girl vocals, speaking to the warmest, fun-most part of the
human soul.
Is that Ryan Hardy accusing Santa of having an erection? Surely not. His I Saw Santa ushers in the lo-fi, festive whimsy of Beatnik
Filmstars and Candy Panic Attack, who's On The Dole At Christmas is
like a ceremonial parade of last years toys across the living room floor on
Christmas Day, all condemned chugging and unwanted sadness. Uke Stanza'
s A little Tree meanwhile has that same stunning air of redemption and,
unbelievably, that very same voice as Johnny Cash, only it's his own, and I
don't think he's fucking about. Amazing.
Life With Bells (not Without Buildings) provide the "all
you need for Christmas is an atmospheric bit of electronica" thought, their
Last Noel shimmering with downbeat charm like that lost second Waitresses hit,
before pushing out the lo-fi we have Wizard-tinged rock 'n' roll,
Dawn Of The Replicants taking on Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time
with a different kind of box-of-frog madness and Captain Polaroid
firing away like Graham Coxon in Hefner playing to a retinue of Santa
Clauses.
A humble feast of festive creativity, A Very Cherry Christmas 2 2 reminds
me of the only time I actually enjoyed going to Sunday school, albeit to
render mischief, and while some old dogs fish around for the classics to fill
loved ones' stockings this year, I'll stick with this. Tears, alcohol, divorce,
Cash, Swedish pop and Santa's erection. Happy Christmas indeed.