The Welsh Valleys currently lust for someone to slay the entertainment
monster of conformity. Our nightlife population is speckled with sun-bed and
steroid kids, jaded thugs and amateur nihilists, and artists have to justify
their existence with a nightmare reprisal of sentimental pub balladry. Yet
surely, we hope, only in Kafka's imagination can a climate stay absolutely barren
forever.
Tonight The Con Artists are taking their first steps outside of their
hometown, and the huddled streets of Cwmparc conceal a million reasons not to.
The atmosphere inside the venue can be cut with a knife, and strangers'
throats might also be at risk. Instruments have taken on the importance of medieval
joker's gags, and any minute now their players could be consigned to
crocodile pit, guillotine, or, worse - a Rhondda disco.
If Johnny Borrell were here he would have had it already, throat slit and ego donated to the
local darts team, so the gig begins with In the Morning. Temperature is
sub-zero, and maybe below that, and the old time shimmy of Berry's Rock
'n' Roll Music is met with a number of people checking their watches for
the length of time that they haven't heard a Stereophonics track.
Meanwhile, the microphones of singers Johnny Gardener and Stuart Smith
sound tinny, and, around here, trust me, without diction, you're as good as
nothing. Suddenly, the whole PA system shrinks like a giant, salted snail.
Menace lurks, but the ironic nature of the chanting suggests that complete
annihilation of the players might not be the verdict. Maybe drinks have been taken,
but when the system croaks back to life again, there's a new optimism.
The Zutons are probably too foppish to be embraced here in person,
femme fatale saxophonist Abi would have to come with a government
health warning, but there's something about this song and this band that's
burrowing away at all of the crowd's hostility.
Others like to garner it, so this is pretty unique and alternative edge. Gardener's superb harmonica on Love
Me Do is another, spectral folk ingenuity floating across the venue like
mystery itself. The surprises keep rolling as the retinue stick to only the
pop-most nuggets of the recent mainstream-alternative and some quaint rock 'n'
roll, and - whisper it gently - but a haven of philistinism is being quietly
rendered a creative indie feast.
One thing the Rhondda has never lacked in is fine musicians, and
lead-guitarist Adam Warren is destined to be up there in the higher echelons of
axe-heroes with Racing Cars' Graham Williams. He shoots golden threads
through the Manics' Australia and You Stole The Sun From My Heart with
Bradfield-like soul, while Gareth Beartup flitters away at drums with
stunning precision, upping stakes at will with the cartoon virtuosity of
Animal.
Of course, the smallest details in indie music often create the killer
moments, and the piano/keyboard in the corner is a sign that all the right laws
of performance are being obeyed in this unlikely setting. Smith puts aside his
bass to etch out the opening strains of The Killers' All These Things
That I've Done before launching into the vocals with the quintessential
new-wave strut of Brandon Flowers, and quite brilliantly, The Con Artists are
winning the day without even playing Bryan Adams' Summer of '69.
Champagne Supernova is portrayed to an atmospheric T, before a fun-time
medley of Please Mr Postman and Stand By Me has people going bona fide crazy.
They simply don't want it to end, and for an encore we get the rare sight of
Rhondda revellers dancing to nuggets like The Coral's Dreaming of You
and The Who's My Generation rather than, say, jeering along to DJ
Otzi's Hey Baby.
Bubbles are more likely to fill the air than
intimidation, and if this is not a Rhondda revolution, I don't know what is. This may
not be the real thing, but The Con Artists certainly sell the illusion with
alternative glee. Cwmparc succumbs, and, if only for a night, freedom is won.