Nick Dawson is a writer.

At the age of seven, he wrote his first novel. At school, he wrote some essays. But after leaving the oppressive educational system, he determined not to get a job - but instead write about whatever the hell he wanted to. Locking himself in a dingy garret once owned by Lord Byron, he tried to write about films, music and cheese (his three favourite things) for a living. People liked what had written about the first two, but his views on cheese were too radical and outspoken, and editors could not afford to pay him for the dangerous words that flowed from his pen.

Letting the success of paid journalism go to his head, he bought a large, post-Baroque mansion in the wine-making region of Bavaria, making this his new base. At regular intervals, young German scamps from the local village are sent to collect the mountain of letters and parcels that accumulate in the post office for him. His is a simple life, one moulded by the power and beauty of an image in motion and a voice raised in song. For the moment, he's decided he likes what he does.

Despite many attempts by the paparazzi, he has never been photographed.