We’re a democratic bunch of so’n'sos. All encompassing. Willing to listen to public opinion. So in the spirit of the wondrous wind of change which may (or may not) be completely revolutionising the UK’s electoral system this week, consider this as the first of what may literally be one AV Tracks Column.
Is it a grubby little compromise? Yes. Well it’s grubby, at least. And if you knew what we’d originally written about Blue (see what we ended up with below), it’s definitely a bit of a compromise.
But anyway, take your form and put the candidates listed below in order of preference until you don’t care, or you get as far as Tinchy Stryder. Whichever comes first.
Then send ‘em in, and we’ll tell you who’s won. Or we’ll give them to a hamster to make a nest out of.
Tinchy Stryder and Dappy – Spaceship
It’s pretty clear at this point that we’re not all rowing in the same direction aboard the Good Ship Austerity. We can turn a blind eye to 50 Cent‘s high-rolling egomania. Even Wiz Khalifa‘s stunted narcissism is tolerable at times. But Tinchy and Dappy? Come on, lads – are we all in this together or not?
Spaceship sees the pint-sized pair emerge from some sunny abode, climb aboard two supercars and start brag-rapping with barely comprehensible flights of fancy that read like a bad GCSE poetry project.
“Momma thought I wouldn’t make it; now she’s living in a spaceship. Something something something… Would you like a facelift?” A real casserole of nonsense, this. Guaranteed chart-topper.
Blue I Can
Can you urinate on a cash point? Can you suggest that 9/11 was ‘blown out of all proportion’ because elephants were dying? Can you follow a stint with Britain’s least favourite R&B boy-band since East 17 with a sub-standard solo career?
Members of Blue can. And God bless Eurovision for giving them another chance to pass in and out of public consciousness in less time than it takes Cyprus to give a Greek transvestite singing about trams 12 points (for political reasons).
Frankmusik ft. Far East Movement Do It In The AM
Having initially read this as ‘Do It In The Arm’, the presumption was made that Frankmusik’s new single was some kind of purity-ring wearing, chastity pronouncing, friend of the Jonas‘, no-sex-till-we’re-married-with-a-mortgage-and-a-King Charles-Spaniel type of thing.
But it isn’t. It’s do it in the AM, and it’s a squelchy electronic number which would quite possibly like to take you home on the first date to show you some hard beats.
Beth Jeans Houghton – Dodecahedron
We bloody love Beth Jeans Houghton round these parts. We regularly host BJH-themed nights out where everybody adopts a similar name – Jane Socks McAteer, Mary Cagoules McGrath or Pamela Flip-Flops Aldridge, for instance – and acts out an elaborate charade of generating hype, suddenly disappearing and then returning better than ever.
Dodecahedron is the coup de grace set to install Beth once more as the name to keep an eye on. Quite apart from the fact that it’s one of the year’s best tracks yet, it’s also named for one of our very favourite shapes. All she needs now is to get the Reuleaux Polygon Tour underway and start work on her Lemniscate concept album.
The Pierces Glorious
Take a look outside. It’s summery. The sun is shining, birds are singing, it’s all going to be wonderful.
It’s definitely time for some acoustically strummed music. The kind of music that makes you put flowers in your hair, shove on that long floaty dress and dance around your local park. Followed rapidly by a night in the cells.
Look officer, I was just expressing myself. No, not exposing myself. Anyway, Glorious wafts along on blissful harmonics and a unassuming joy at the world like some kind of twice-removed cousin of California Dreaming.
Diskjokke – Panutup
Few albums have a back story as colourful as remixer, compiler and artist-in-his-own-right Diskjokke’s forthcoming Sagara LP; an open-ended project commissioned in 2009 that took the Norwegian DJ on an Indonesian odyssey through the vagaries of traditional Gamelan music. It’s the sort of tale that deserves its own montage sequence.
Particularly intriguing is the week-long stay in Bali that seemingly steered the entire assignment further and further from away from conventional dance, and Panutup – Sagara’s closing track – hints at all manner of exotic delicacies set to indulge attendant ears upon the album’s release.
We’re not sure what exactly those seven days did to Diskjokke, but we do know of a few others who could benefit from such epiphanies (or at least get lost on the way there… Miaow!).