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Do You Ever Think Of Me?, asks ex-Blue boy Antony Costa. Well, no. Not many people do, aside from nostalgic young girls perhaps and they are all into indie now anyway so go away and stop peddling your schmaltzy balladeering to a public that don't particularly want to hear it. You may have briefly crossed our minds when you willingly stranded yourself in the jungle with an iron lady and a couple of geordies with unfeasibly large foreheads, but we haven't thought of you since you left our screens. Until now of course but we are sure you'll be off again if we all pretend we haven't noticed you.
Before you go though, let me just confide in you that your new single sounds like a million other drab pop ballads: didn't your stay in the wilds help you build some more character to put into your music, or at least give you the time and space to search your soul and think of taking a radical new direction?
You see, we are tired of this kind of stuff, just look at how well the Arctic Monkeys have done for proof, and don't you dare mention Westlife in your defence, as it will stand up about as well as this flimsy, flaccid slice of processed cheese that you hope to revive your career with. Now be off with you.
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