Sadly the result falls far below such expectations. Instead of a hyper-charged slice of future R&B like Brandy's classic What About Us, we get an insipid middle-of-the-road number that seems to positively strive for blandness. So much so, in fact, that I was tempted to check it wasn't Whitney Houston I'd slipped on by mistake. Sadly it wasn't.

But, luckily for Brandy and her record label, I imagine that when they sat down and planned this record, mapping out their target demographics and such, I was probably notable by my absence on their charts. And I will no doubt be proved, yet again, to be out of touch as this record storms the charts and blights my summer like the braying laughter of a moronic Big Brother contestant.