Here comes the new, melodic Funeral For A Friend and by God it's dull. Despite listening to Monsters over and over, as is a reviewer's duty, I just can't get it into my head.

It's competent enough, but for so-called saviours of British metal it just doesn't cut it. It's a bit like a musical version of overhearing the angst of an unfortunate fourteen year old when he gets challenged for ID in front of his mates.

FFAF should have listened as their Welsh compatriots - the Manic Street Preachers and the Stereophonics - turned their backs on potential greatness to find new depths of turgidity. They should do so now and vow never to go down that road. After all, thousands of their devoted fans know they can do a hell of a lot better than this.