Ian Brown is God, right? (The answer to that is 'yes' if you're in any doubt). A new single by Ian Brown should be undeserving of criticism, right?
Wrong, wrong and most definitely wrong. Because here, instead of trancey swirling Madchester guitars and a beat that drags you kicking and screaming onto the dancefloor, we get this year's Saints Are Coming. Except it's less catchy and has Sinead O'Connor thrown in for bad measure.
Goodbye decent music, hello third form pacifism. Check out those insightful, meaningful lyrics: "How many mothers cry?/How many sons have to die?" or "I'm singing concrete facts/So bring the soldiers back!!!" This from the man who brought us Ten Storey Love Song and Sally Cinnamon? Really? Please, no.
There isn't even any coherence about which warzone he's actually against: Iraq, Afghanistan or Palestine (or Ireland maybe, as Sinead has come to play?) because who cares about the actual politics involved? It dun matter, all war am wrong. And stock markets. And capitalism. But not half as wrong as pop stars shoving their hackneyed anti-establishment politics down their fans' throats.
Just... Ian, stick to the music. Or if you really care, become a politician, but don't turn into a fourth-rate Bono. Please, we beg you.