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Jamie Cullum - Photograph (Universal)
UK release date: 1 May 2006
Jamie Cullum - Photograph

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What's that? The sound of a piano? Take cover, friends, it's Jamie Cullum again! Having a go at Jamie Cullum is a bit like clubbing a baby seal, and there's only so many adjectives a critic can use to protest their objection to something so bland. But ultimately, even in comparison to Cullum's previous material, this is weak, wet stuff.

Firstly, the song is hindered by the absence of a tune until the chorus kicks in, as the verses seem to meander pointlessly and head nowhere, so much so that when the chorus does arrive, it sounds ever-so underwhelming. Cullum, with that twee, oh-so annoying voice, moans something or other about photographs serving as memories for past experiences. Yawn. "When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life," Cullum says as we finally approach the chorus; "I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." Cullum seems to write the kind of trite, mild-mannered shtick that even Paul McCartney would think twice about before releasing.

If this were not warning enough, be aware that Photograph also contains the couplets: "It was the same night that I kissed that girl / The tall one with the auburn hair / I remember laughing because to kiss me / She had to sit down on a chair." Avoid.

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