Alright mates! You join us just as we're about to track down one of a rare, but becoming more prevalent, breed. Boybandicus Exodus, or the Blue-crested former boy-band member. And blimey, look! There he goes! Oh, wow look at that fella go! You see the D&G camouflage? That’s a common trait of all these blighters.

Right, I'm gonna try and get a little closer. Now I need to be really quiet. Ok, he's quite calm at the moment; he isn't baring his teeth like they do when worried or happy or hungry. Provided I don't do anything stupid, like point a camera or microphone at him I think we're gonna be ok. If we did try anything like that he'd probably lunge at us or say something stupid.

Now the reason he's out there tonight is he's got a new single. Hear him croon? Hear the poignant strumming? See the distant look in his eyes? That's classic behaviour for these guys. Now, to you and me it might sound horrible, but to hundreds of pre-pubescent schoolgirls, this is the best thing ever. Uh oh! Crikey! He looks a bit spooked! We better ru...