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No, no, no, McFly boys. This will not do. Everybody knows the point of manufactured boy or girl groups is to make silly, trashy, disposable pop. The minute you start to take yourselves too seriously and think of yourselves as 'artists', then the game's up.
It worked for you when you were making daft, fun records and starring in appalling movies with Lindsay Lohan. You were crap, but in a knowing way. Now, you're making records like The Heart Never Lies, a 'grown up' rock ballad - the type you may find Aerosmith singing over the end of the latest Hollywood blockbuster.
And it's dreadful. It's plodding, it's hackneyed, completely unmemorable (say what you like about Obviously, but that had a chorus catchier than bubonic plague) and filled with lyrics that Johnny Borrell may consider meaningful: "Some people run right into the fire. some people hide their every desire". It ends with a truly horrible guitar solo that's presumably meant to impress on us how they're serious musicians these days.
Well, we don't care boys. You're a pop band, and you have a limited shelf-life. Even now, the pretenders for your crown are shuffling into position to oust you from pre-teen hearts. Sorry lads, but your time is up.
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