Good old Peter Brame. He's that one from Fame Academy who didn't win. He's the one who thought he was a rock star - you know the one, he leapt around the stage like a kid with ADHD on a trampoline and forgot to sing in key. He's the one who forgot that to be a rock star, you have to release records and play gigs, otherwise when you wind up smoking crack and hanging out with hookers, you look a bit like a desperate idiot. No not >Pete Doherty, Peter Brame.

If you can remember him, then this single is more than adequate to help you forget exactly who he is/was. Wake Up can be bought as a single, or can be found on page one in the dictionary of generic rock and roll (they don't do things alphabetically in this particular dictionary). It's over-produced to a point where Pete Waterman would probably blanche, when it should retain some kind of dirt. After all that was what Mr Brame was after wasn't it?

The lyrics are so banal they wouldn't sing them at nursery school for fear of failing Ofsted reports. Really Peter, what is "watch out I'm gonna get myself a woman" all about? Have a word with yourself man. The guitar parts and drums are the kind of thing most bands knock out tuning up. Then there's his voice, one part phoned in sneer and one part disgruntled burger bar worker; obviously Fame Academy didn't teach him anything at all.

The whole thing is some kind of awful nightmare and the only way to escape it is to wake up. Maybe that's where the name of the record comes from: you spend 3 minutes and 21 seconds pleading with God to let you wake up. It's a concept single, and therefore we've changed our minds, it's a work of genius. Just kidding.

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