Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, what are we to do with you?
We could start with the fact that you are so far up America's backside that the two of you deserve one another. If only that was the least of your crimes. Do you even realise how strongly you should be slapped for paying unconvincing lip service to Live8 and Fair Trade worthiness while simultaneously whoring yourself completely to Yank-friendly stadium ballads like this that will sell squillions in Wal-Mart? Does it keep you awake at night?
When exactly was it that you managed to have a complete irony by-pass? And for god's sake, if you're so desperate to suck up to America, couldn't you at least have got your teeth fixed at the same time?
So, instead of slagging you off for that, let's start with the bit of your press release that quotes "[America is] so anthemic it will surely conquer stadia the world over". And where, pray tell, does this quote come from, Johnny? Yes, that's right, it's from the Daily Telegraph. The Daily Telegraph!
Good god, man, you were in The Libertines once. The band that had more passion, more drive, more fire in their bellies than any other so far this century and yet now, now you are proud that The Daily Telegraph thinks your new single will "conquer stadia". There is, Iím afraid, nothing more to say.