Now there has been a story doing the rounds that Liam Gallagher believed that Spinal Tap were a real band. When Noel told him that they where just actors, Liam threw a fit and has never watched the film again. I wonder if Liam believes this is the real Santa singing?

With a supercharged sleigh and a doped up Rudolf, full of cheap Columbian nose powder (why else do you think his nose glows?) Santa's turned his amp one louder and entered the trolley dash for the Christmas number one. He's reworded the 'classic' Is This The Way To Armarillo with festive lyrics and it's now the way to Santa's Grotto.

You can picture Liam and Noel as kids arguing about this. The older brother shattering the younger one's Christmas ideals. This is far too jolly and packed full of bonhomie to succeed at Christmas - Santa hasn't done his market research. Us Brits like a bit of misery to wash down the Christmas dinner. Has he never seen the festive episode of Eastenders? This far too cheerful and happy. Happy? At Christmas? That will never catch on...

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