Britain's answer to Andy Williams finds himself a household name all over again thanks to Peter Kay and an innate inability to read a map. "Is this the way to Amarillo? I couldn't find a bally map, see..."

Game for a laff, and on the back of that charidee single and its admittedly endearing video, Christie has stormed back into the album charts with The Definitive Collection, from which this latest slice of brazenly kitsch schtick has been carved from.

And you have to be concerned for Mr Christie's health. There's no part of Avenues and Alleyways where he sounds as though he'll do anything other than burst a gasket. Williams had - and still has - the ability to gently croon, to soothe. Christie seems more akin to Tom Jones - a belter without respite. And the Love To Infinity "dance mix" was created for big boozy people bouncing about in Benidorm. If you're not one of them, head for the hills. And remember to take a map.