Imagine Harry Enfield going back to Kevin and Perry, now a year or two older. The two hapless lads have now fallen into peddling soft drugs whilst calling themselves 'gangstas'. They're blasting the worst hip-hop, ragga and drum 'n' bass they can find from their car windows, oblivious of how they look. The nation screams with laughter...

Now imagine Harry decided that Kevin and Perry should make their own 'gangsta' record. It would have to be the worst, most cringeworthy example of its genre, enough to inflict near physical pain in the listener. It would be legendary, the worst hip-hop track, the worst ragga track and the worst drum 'n' bass track ever made, and all in one terrible three and a half minute tune. A challenge worthy of any true comedian - so what’s he waiting for?

Well I'm sorry to break it to you Harry - it simply won't work. The Transplants have got there first with one of the worst singles in pop history. Just weep at the refrain; "Gangstas and thugs. Funerals in 'hoods / Some of my friends sell records. Some of my friends sell drugs," and know that you will never get more embarrassing than this. Come back Crazy Frog, all is forgiven...