Why film editors need strong stomachs

I don’t like horror.

Actually, that’s not quite right. I like some horror. But I don’t like gore, I don’t like suffering and I really don’t like torture. Ghosts and curses are okay. I liked The Ring. But the more modern breed of "here’s something nasty I can do with a coat-hanger" – I don’t like that at all.

Which makes being a film editor pretty difficult. If things are looking thin on the trailers page, that’s because the last four or five I’ve been sent I don’t want to post. I don’t want to watch them. I didn’t really want to read the plot synopses, to be honest, but I didn’t know that until I’d got to the bad point.

But at least amidst all the grim unpleasantness it’s still possible to laugh. I got such a smile reading the plot synopsis for indie-teen-sexual-awakening-horror Teeth, which if you can’t
what’s it about I leave you to find out for yourselves. You won’t see the trailer on, but that’s because the PR company pulled it after an hour after releasing it. Perhaps they realised that the premise, which would like to be the most shocking thing you’ve ever encountered, actually came across as pretty silly. A set of teeth? Every rose has its thorns? Oh, come on. It’s a spoof, right?

[Sadly the other eight torture trailers (and the one which, more unhappily, has an "interactive online game" to go with) raise less of a smile. The same goes for the trailer for Meet the Spartans, a comedy from the makers of Scary Movie, who believe that naming a film in another film is as funny as actually, I don’t know, making a joke about it as well. At least its plot synopsis was honest, describing it neatly as a "spoof comedy". Phew. I thought it was meant to be a real one.]

Will this current fad of straight-to-cinema video-nasties never cease?

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