New Coldplay album a bit too edgy for you?James Blunt not quite pianoy enough? Nevermind; here comes Cary Brothers to save the day.
Cary Brothers. Whatta guy. First name Cary, secondname Brothers (geddit? see? like Collaterly Sisters inThe Day Today, but less funny). He’s here to save theday for any Heart FM listener who might be thinkingabout branching out into Radio 2, peddling sugar-sweetballads so bland even Westlife wouldn’t have let themin from the rain on a cold night.
Unbelievably, there are people out there who likethis stuff. You might remember Mr Brothers from thesoundtrack to Garden State, a film that deservedbetter (and had it, in the form of Nick Drake,amongst others). But more likely, you’ve probablyforgotten him completely, even though the soundtrackalbum won a Grammy.
And just in case you were in any doubt that this isabout as tedious an example of corporate-o-rama as youget, he’s been top of the iTunes Folk Chart as well.Gosh! Keane and Athlete would be shakingin their boots if they didn’t have better tunes.
But hey, he’s kooky, he’s kewl, he hangs with theLA movie crowd, y’know. See, he’s the guy who madeDill Scallion, that wacky, wonderful spoof music moviethat’s described as “the country music Spinal Tap” by… er… everyone who hasn’t noticed the existence ofA Mighty Wind, one has to assume.
So do any of the tracks on this waste of whateverit is CDs are made of have any redeeming features? Doany of them have biting wit or cuttingly intelligentlyrics lurking darkly beneath their saccharinesurface? Is it all a conspiracy to subvert theairwaves with rock so soft it would need to carry awarning not to drive onto its verges?
You might hope so, but no. It’s boring softrock-type ballad after boring soft-rock-type vaguelyfolky thing, from beginning to end. The type of musicin fact, that you keep forgetting you’re listening to,so easy is it to be distracted by a fly, or a bit ofstring you’ve just noticed on the carpet.
The one and only saving grace of Who You Are isthat once ends, you’ll forget it completely. Smallblessing maybe, but the only one available.