For those of you who haven’t been living on a desert island free from any interaction with the human race you won’t know a thing about the Crazy Frog. If that applies to you please redirect yourself to another page on this website and save yourself the trauma. Unfortunately the vast majority of us know exactly what the Crazy Frog is all about.
A computer generated thing that doesn’t look much like a frog at all has been invading our TV channels, not just one or two, but seemingly every single one of them. Approximately every 15 minutes this little animation dances around our screens with his nether regions blacked out as further proof that political correctness has gone too far. The next step will be the Discovery Channel only being available after ten o’clock and for a monthly fee that won’t appear on your credit card bill.
However, I digress – this is after all an album review. The intro is misleading and should by all rights lead the producers into legal difficulties with trading standards. Because it’s actually quite good with the Frog’s craziness kept to a minimum. What hits next can only be described by (deep breath) “a-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding” as Axel F is completely desecrated and the people behind Beverly Hills Cop wish they’d never bothered.
Up next is Popcorn, which for the best part of a minute is just a bad serving of trashy euro-dance. Then you want to shoot yourself, over and over again. The strange thing is the reworking of Whoomp! (There It Is) could almost be good, with a new reggae feel helped by the Coolie Dance Rhythm featured on Nina Sky‘s Move Ya Body.
Clearly not wishing to alienate anyone on the planet the Frog’s next job is to embark on a middle-eastern feel with 1001 Nights, possibly one of the least annoying tracks on Crazy Hits. Then the euro-feel returns with Bailando, obviously with his new found riches the Frog decided to learn Spanish. Frogs like beaches too you know, and Spain does have some nice ones.
Pump Up The Jam obviously had to be included (you can’t spell Jamster without Jam – marketing at its best), but this time they didn’t even bother altering it much just randomly letting the mentally unstable amphibian have his say. The inclusion of In The ’80s scares me, as it is clearly there to appeal to children of the ’80s. Which means the people who are buying into the Crazy Frog are twentysomethings, not five-year-olds.
Further evidence to this is the fact that the theme to Dallas has been given the Crazy Frog treatment. Now that show was before my time and I’m beginning to lose respect for my elders. I hit the stop button before Mr Frog can destroy the Pink Panther theme. I just don’t want to know.
The Crazy Frog is a phenomenon, to be able to afford the ridiculous amounts of TV time it gets millions must be buying the ringtones, videos and wallpapers. He even kept Coldplay off the number one spot. But just who is paying for this garbage? They should be tracked down and listed under the Mental Health Act.
The Crazy Frog is also a textbook example of the law of unintended consequences – when the Romans created a network of roads I doubt they envisaged pollution and congestion charging, just like I doubt the Crazy Frog’s creator Erik Wernquist saw his character becoming big enough to release an album which isn’t worth the plastic CD cover it lives in.