Fug! Hello. Me Fug. Me archetypal prehistoric man, and Fug here today to talk to you about Fug’s favourite band, Jet. Fug thinks most bands too experimental. Fug tried Razorlight, Fug tried Kasabian, Fug even tried The Feeling, but Fug think it’s all too weird. Too crazy. Too much like hard work. Fug a simple guy; after a hard day clubbing innocent beasts to death and drawing on walls, Fug like to return to Fug’s cave, drag Fug’s woman back to indulge in the sacred act of procreation and listen to some Jet. Fug only wish there was a way of making Fug’s cave less cold.
Rock. That’s what Fug’s cave is made of, and that’s what Fug wants to listen too. Fug like Shine On, Shine On is Rock. Not too advanced, not trying to force brave new music world on Fug when Fug no want. Fug hate surprises. Last time someone tried to surprise Fug Fug killed them with spear. So Fug very glad Shine On like last Jet album. As great philosophical thinker said: “no broke, no fix”.
Fug like guitars. Fug like nothing better than to play air guitar while swinging Fug’s long hair. So Fug want songs like Holiday. Fug think it bit like other great band AC/DC. Angus Young be very pleased with stupid solo like that, so have to be a good thing.
Fug also likes simple rhyming schemes. And Jet very simple. Fug brain not large enough to process complex lyrics about the unstoppable march of globalisation and the meaning of stuff. All Fug want is chance to scream like Jet singer man does on Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is, while not having to learn many difficult words.
But Fug got softer side. So good that Jet provide Fug with opportunity to express it. Fug only wish he had something to hold up in the air to wave whilst Kings Horses and Shiny Magazines play. Fug like, Fug moved to near tears and Fug all (cave) man.
But not all good. Fug not impressed with Eleanor, with its Everly Brothers vibe. Fug don’t even know who the Everly Brothers are, but Fug think they probably write lots of weedy and overlong songs. Also makes Jet singer man seem very nasal. Nasal voice make Fug mad. Also, All You Have To Do very boring, Fug think it’s strongly reminiscent of All You Need Is Love. Fug always quite partial to the songs of Ringo Starr.
Fug no critic. Fug more suited to bashing things, but if Fug was, Fug might well have more to say on the issue of the lack of progression Shine On demonstrates, and question whether we should we really be impressed by a band who are making a career out of sounding like a Small Faces tribute band covering The Beatles in the style of Oasis. Instead, Fug going to go back, put Come On Come On on and rock on. Fug out.