Album Reviews

Turn – Turn

(Setanta) UK release date: 6 February 2006

I hate butterflies. I only discovered this fact when I made a fateful visit to a butterfly house, and ended the day cowering under a bench, whimpering a bit. Unfortunately, this album has pictures of butterflies all over the place, so I’m instantly a little suspicious of the whole thing. Rightly so, as it turns out, because this has to be one of the blandest albums I’ve had the misfortune to hear for some time.

Remember Dodgy? Well if you can now imagine a really awful Dodgy: a Dodgy that didn’t have choruses like the one on Staying Out For The Summer, or a Dodgy that completely forgot how to write anything resembling a tune, and you’re part of the way to picturing the Turn experience.

Things start tentatively with It’s About Nothing and Stop, both reasonably pleasant songs and, to be fair, they suggest that songwriter and vocalist Ollie Cole has a passable – if uninteresting – voice.

Interestingly, Stop serves a bizarre dual purpose. Not only is it an average indie tune, but it is also an instruction. If only I had heeded the warning. There are in fact several of these multi-faceted titles throughout the album. Track four is entitled It’s a Waste Of My Time (a feeling that should be getting familiar in any hapless listener by this point), track seven is So Lame (a handy pointer, just in case you were unsure exactly how to feel) and to close proceedings is the none-more-aptly-titled I don’t Wanna Waste More Time. I’ve never encountered an album that writes its own review before, but it is a welcome gesture. Things could only be made more clear if the band themselves were called Turn (Off).

Somewhat surprisingly, Turn have been nominated for the Choice Music Prize (a kind of Irish Mercury award). It’s a decision that seems unfathomable. The sole reason it has been nominated must be that there are only ten records that fit the criteria “released in the last year”.

As background music this kind of thing is perfect; entirely unobtrusive, with no discernable features that might distract you from your task in hand. You’re unlikely to find yourself singing any of these songs to yourself anywhere, because the whole thing is instantly forgettable. Should you find yourself considering purchasing this album, remember the warning of track two: Stop.

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