Patrick Page
Athena Ripka
Caroline London
lyrics by
Timothy Mason
The book was a 5 minute read, 10 minutes tops
TV show was half hour, well done – mad props
But the play plays ninety minutes,
much too long to stretch it out.
So they added songs and stage business,
kids that scream and kids that shout.
You see the Grinch, the big green wonder,
doesn’t enter til scene five
And the audience is restless, “The play is not alive!”
They pick a line from the story to make into a song
But the line they pick from the book is wrong – wrong!
“Oh the noise, noise, NOISE!”
The noise in the book is music, made from toys and from dreams
The noise in the play is just kids and those extra loud screams
Yes they scream at the Grinch, who covers in fright
They scream and they scream and I think that I might
Have to go into hiding, as yelling starts in the throng
Just the thing that I need, an audience scream sing-along.
The Grinch finally stops them, I cheer for the Grinch
They’re stopped with a bop, it’s easy, a cinch.
Of course the “song” is reprised, three times, maybe four
Were I lucky and in seat 20, I would head for the door
But no such luck
I am stuck
Another hour or more.
Other things happen, not much, but a few
Some Singing,
Some Dancing,
A song from Cindy Lou Who
Snow comes from the roof (cannons go off too).
It finally comes to an end, it staggers to a stop
Grinchy green bows, and all the kids applaud for the flop.
And our critic? He’s trying to get to the door
He thinks of his friend in the air for five hours or more
And he thinks, “Would I have traded places with her?”
“Yes”, in an instant, of that he is sure.
He slips on his i-pod
hurries to his door
He thinks of the play.
One word.
Nevermore.
